12 17 09 Hope in a Time of Darkness

Dear Ted:
With many holidays this time of the year, I find myself feeling low and tired. Even though all around me are decorations of lights, candles and other events that say all is well. Am I weird feeling low during this time? Thanks, Feeling Low
Thank you for your openness about your feelings. You are not alone, as a matter of fact, part of the holidays or holy days deal with this subject. Within the darkness may be a seed of hope that light will return to your heart and to the world at large. Soon it will be the winter solstice, which is the shortest day of the year and the longest night. After the winter solstice, days begin to get longer and the moon moves towards becoming full again and light returns. There are many holidays at this time of the year such as, Chanukah, which is a reminder to not remain silent in the face of oppression and to surrender your rights and identity in the midst of darkness. The tradition of the lighting of candles helps one to remember that there is enough fuel through faith at your darkest time. There is also Kwanzaa to remember the celebration of family, community and culture and Christmas, the celebration of the birth of Christ. With each of these holidays, there appears to be an underlying message of hope even within the oppression and darkness. Looking at the metaphor of your darkest moment, there may be a way to capture and nurture a stream of light. This may help you in stepping forward with a flicker of light on your path through some dark times. In that, you can begin to align your rhythm with the seasons and as you capture light moments, the days will grow with you in strength. With tradition and darkness, you may find yourself healing from the “loss phase” of bargaining, in which you take time to look at your past, the lows and the highs and do an inventory of your situation, your life and your ambitions. In doing this you may find fond and difficult memories, moments that bring tears of laughter and sadness, dreams fulfilled and other emotions that may need to be released. In this introspective work you may find where you want to make changes in your life and discover how you can become more connected to the world in a new and more profound way. In the midst of all this darkness, you have survived to light another candle, with enough oil left for another candle to follow this day. This is the oil of passion and faith that within each of us is the fuel to move forward with more light to share. I wish the same for you as you move into the eve of light. Until next week, take care.

Golden Willow Retreat is a nonprofit organization focused on emotional healing. Please direct questions to Ted Wiard, LPCC, CGC, founder of Golden Willow Retreat and clinical supervisor for Teambuilders Counseling at (575) 776-2024 or GWR@newmex.com.